Sliding

So, yeah yeah, I have been in an uphill battle with chronic depression and anxiety since I was 11. On all different meds and therapy and junk to help me be "normal". Finally I felt like I was genuinely happy and not overly-anxious in Dec/Jan. Well, it's happening again....my doctor told me to always be prepared, bc my battle is one that may never be won.
-The best way I can describe how I am feeling lately is in a snowboarding metaphor. You know when you fall whilst boarding down a black diamond slope? You just keep sliding and sometimes you are sliding towards a cliff, the drops into a ravene with fallen trees. I hate it when this happens. You are completely out of control. There is like a 5% chance that you will gain control of your fate. 95% chance that you will slid into a tree where you will then stand up and proceed to scoop the snow out of your pants and jacket, (bc this was the one time your gators decided to not serve there purpose). That's me, metaphorically sliding snow a icey slope and hurting, all the while knowing you will stop sliding eventually. Once you're not sliding anymore you have to face the humiliation of de-frosting and attempting to stay as warm and dry as u can while not showing your chonies to the entire hill as you shake snow out of your pants. Yes, that's me.
The only thing keeping me from falling off of the cliff as well? Slow Club. They put me in a happy mood. =)